Whorium

One of the weirdest things about this campaign is the wimpy opposition. For the first time ever, I have just one opponent, which means I get a free ride to the General Election in November. Moreover, my opponent does not appear to be an establishment heavyweight. On the contrary, he’s a virtual unknown, and his propaganda machine seems strikingly anemic.

Which isn’t to say I can easily beat him. As always, he’ll be quickly endorsed by nearly every corrupt organization in Seattle and has already been invited to many forums that I wasn’t even aware of.

One can only conclude that the Seattle Chamber of Commerce has ordained that this man replace Brita Butler-Wall. But I’ll do my best to broadcast the truth about my opponent and make sure he doesn’t just waltz into office without a few bruises.

His name is Harrium Martin-Morris. In honor of all the establishment propagandists and liberal pussies who have pleaded with me to run a “civil” campaign, I’ve dubbed him Whorium. For the 113th time, I am NOT a spineless Democrat or a progressive zombie who makes nice with the enemy. I’m here to fight for kids, and that’s exactly what I’ll do, political correctness be damned.

Like most candidates, Whorium has no website, aside from his campaign website at www.harium2007.com. Apparently, he’s only interested in school issues during election campaigns.

The word “issues” doesn’t even appear on the home page. But Whorium is forthright in letting us know he’s a “national educational consultant.” So was former Seattle Schools Superintendent Joseph Olchefske, a banker who lost over $30 million before he abandoned ship. His predecessor, General John Stanford, was an even more famous national educational consultant, one who trashed more schools than I can recall. (I sometimes refer to Stanford as “The George Bush of Education.”)

If you care about rising property taxes, note that Whorium supports Simple Majority 2007, which would make it even easier for the Education Mafia to screw taxpayers out of ever bigger piles of money without accountability.

Military Prostitute

The only other issue Whorium embraces, that I’m aware of, is military recruiters in schools. At a forum at the former University Heights School in the U-District, someone asked Whorium and I what we thought about military recruiters in schools. To my amazement, Whorium—who hadn't disclosed a single issue up to that point—calmly and quickly replied that he's fine with the idea of military recruiters in schools, nothing that schools shouldn't shut out “the real world.”

Well, prostitution is part of the real world, too. So shall we invite pimps into our schools?

This was shortly before a rash of anti-military recruiter publicity hit Seattle’s corporate media, culminating in a spectacular (if not genuine) protest at a Seattle School Board meeting and some symbolic action by the Board.

I was simply amazed that Whorium would be on the wrong side of such a volatile issue in liberal Seattle.

Endorsements

Whorium has been endorsed by a number of corrupt political groups, including the Seattle Education Association, the Teamsters, the Alki Foundation, the Women’s Political Caucus of King County and several Democratic groups. Yes, the party of Nancy Pelosi and Hillary “I’m tougher than George Bush” Clinton loves Whorium. (Incidentally, the Teamsters also endorsed the incumbent, Brita Butler-Wall. In fact, all of these organizations probably gave Brita their stamp of approval.)

Whorium was also endorsed by Seattle School Board President Cheryl Chow.

Corporate Connections

Whorium’s endorsements include Christopher Bayley, a corporate thug who worked with the infamous Slade Gorton before he landed a spot on the board of directors of Seattle’s bizarre Discovery Institute. His biography reeks of corrupt corporate connections.

He works for Boeing, which is a member of the sinister Alliance for Education. According to his website, Whorium also served as “Senior Consultant with MGT of America, a national public sector consulting company, working in the areas of school improvement and student assessment. During my tenure with MGT of America my primary area of expertise was school reform issues. I worked on the design of state-wide, electronic school-improvement planning tools which are currently used by the states of Michigan and Pennsylvania.”

I haven’t had time to thoroughly investigate MGT of America, but my initial perception is not positive.

Whorium also led the project team that produced the Washington State “Student Learning Plan” tool. If you follow the link (Why doesn’t Whorium provide links on his campaign website?), you’ll find yourself on the Washington State Superintendent of Public Instruction’s (SPI) website. Anyone who works with SPI Bergeson is no friend of children. In particular, it appears that Whorium is a staunch defender of the WASL. (Note: The very day after I wrote this, I ran into a member of the Seattle Education Association’s board of directors who described my opponent as “that black guy who works for OSPI [Office of the Supt. of Public Instruction].”)

Contributions

The table on this page lists some of the more interesting individuals and organizations who have contributed money to Whorium’s campaign. While researching his contributions, I was struck by the number of contributors who live outside Seattle, even outside Washington State.

The largest single contribution declared so far is $2,500 from some guy in Austin, Texas. Notice how he and several other contributors never bothered to list their occupation. I think that’s illegal; I’m going to check with the Public Disclosure Commission to make sure.

Of special interest are contributions from J. Shan Mullin and James Ellis, key members of the Seattle Mafia, along with Chris Bayley, another establishment heavyweight. Microsoft’s newly minted lawfirm, KNL Gates, is represented by attorneyh Karl Quackenbush, while Paul Allen is representd by Vulcan.

The education mafia is more directly represented by Seattle School Board President Cheryl Chow, former board members Barbara Schaad-Lamphere and Don Niselson, along with Lisa Bond, Schools First whore Lisa Macfarlane, the Washington Education Association and teachers union whore Wendy Kimball. Chris Jackins is a phony activist, and notice the four individuals at the bottom of the table who collectively donated $8,000, all listing the same address.

These contributors further mark Whorium as an insider and establishment favorite. If you trust Jim Ellis and Vulcan, vote for Whorium.

Summary

Whorium is a relative unknown with little or no track record who, even by Seattle standards, is remarkable for his nearly complete disdain for “issues.” Just as Greg Nickels campaigned for Mayor (after losing over $1 billion on Sound Transit) with little more than the slogan The Seattle Way, so does Whorium’s campaign apparently consist primarily of the mantra “I’m a national education consultant.”

I cannot prevent the Seattle Chamber of Commerce from appointing Whorium to the school board, but I won’t hesitate to say “I told you so,” just as I’ve warned Seattleites about so many other derelict candidates, from Nancy “Mariners Whore” Waldman to Brita Butler-Wall.

Can’t afford to donate money to my campaign? No problem! You can join the team by simply visiting Urban Dictionary > Seattle Mafia and clicking the yellow thumbs up icon , indicating you agree with my definition. Doing so will help publicize the fact that there IS a Seattle Mafia. If you’re working for the Seattle Mafia and want to click the thumbs down icon , that᾿s fine, too. Either way, you’re helping my campaign. :)