Blomstrom vs The Seattle Mafia

Welcome! My name is David Blomstrom, and I’m running for a seat on the Seattle School Board. Specifically, I’m gunning for the seat currently occupied by a lying, conniving whore named Brita Butler-Wall, representing District III.

As you may have guessed, this site is for MATURE ADULTS ONLY. If you’re hung up on that freakish Seattle civility, you’ll probably want to vote for my opponent, Harium “No Issues” Martin-Morris (or, as I’ve dubbed him, Whorium).

This is my fifth campaign for public office, having run for school board twice before (1999 and 2003) and twice for State Superintendent of Public Instruction (2000 and 2004). My campaign is both very similar to and very different from my first campaign.

Perhaps the biggest difference is the fact—or at least the probability—that this will be Seattle’s LAST school board campaign. Apparently, the Seattle Mafia decided that the Mayor should be given control of our school board, with the power to appoint and dismiss board members.

I find it utterly amazing, almost unbelievable, that NO ONE is talking about this enormous issue. Several months ago, our local media let us know that certain interests were exploring the idea, but it was only by accident that I discovered that a bill to effectively scuttle our school board has already been introduced in Olympia. The collective silence of the media, public officials and candidates alike on this grave issue alone should raise a giant red flag.

Of course, this is just another symptom of corporate corruption, which is the overarching issue of our time. The only other candidate talking about the privatization (or corporatization) of public schools, that I’m aware of, is Sally Soriano—a pretend activist whose interest in such things curiously peaks during election campaigns.

Similarly, I think I’m a much better spokesman for socialism than the fruitcakes our local Socialist party trots out from time to time, like Edwin Fruit, who didn’t make it pass the primaries. Like most candidates, Soriano apparently has no website aside from her intermittent campaign websites; Fruit didn’t even have enough ambition to create his own campaign website. But more about that later.

As with my previous campaigns, I feel overwhelmed. There are so many issues to discuss, both local and national...even international. So what do George W. Bush, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and global warming have to do with the Seattle School Board? I’ll attempt to answer those and other questions on my campaign website and on several other political websites I’m developing. We have a lot of territory to cover!

Can’t afford to donate money to my campaign? No problem! You can join the team by simply visiting Urban Dictionary > Seattle Mafia and clicking the yellow thumbs up icon , indicating you agree with my definition. Doing so will help publicize the fact that there IS a Seattle Mafia. If you’re working for the Seattle Mafia and want to click the thumbs down icon , that᾿s fine, too. Either way, you’re helping my campaign. :)